FEAR is coming upon me and I don't like it
because I have surrendered FEAR.
But FEAR is like ANXIETY & WORRY
as they love to attach to our
DOUBTS
so they can do their job.
What would life be like without FEAR?
Don't you feel a sense of calm overtake your being?
I do.
I actually label FEAR as "my" FEAR which is my choice of taking ownership.
I bet you do it too.
As I have been preparing for an upcoming conference
I get so excited to be able to do what I love to do.
To gather together and talk about our GOD.
And to sing the songs I love with a bunch of women
who also love to talk about our GOD
and to seek more of HIM
and some who are just curious about HIM.
But then it hits me.
What if I don't represent GOD PERFECTLY?
Hmm, just writing that has opened up my eyes.
I can't represent GOD PERFECTLY
because only GOD can represent HIMSELF
through my IMPERFECTIONS.
So my FEARING FAILURE
is really FEARING that
GOD
won't allow me to do what I love to do.
Have you been there?
GOD opens a door to a job you love and then you FEAR HE is going to take it away.
GOD opens a door for you to be a parent, and then you FEAR that you
will FAIL at being a good parent.
GOD opens a door for you to have a day filled with JOY yet you FEAR the other shoe dropping.
Oh FEAR is the PERFECT JOY stealer
as it reminds you of your IMPERFECTIONS
so that you begin to believe them~
Who do you think you are?
Why would you succeed at anything?
Why would anyone even want to hear anything you say?
Oh the list goes on, as I am sure you are thinking of the voices of
IMPERFECT.
And then reality strikes.
I am IMPERFECT
and the FEAR dissipates.
Because if I was PERFECT why would I need JESUS?
If I could attain PERFECTION
as I strived to my whole life as I believed
I would be LOVED if I
did everything
PERFECTLY
said everything
PERFECTLY
and looked
PERFECTLY.
Oh what a trap I set for myself.
I chuckle now as GOD is reminding me
that HE LOVES my IMPERFECT self.
FEAR turns to LAUGHTER
as HE brings me back to the
PERFECT CROSS,
where PERFECTION hung
for mine & your IMPERFECTIONS.
What if you and I started an
IMPERFECT list about ourselves.
I think we would get so sick and tired of self
that we would run to the CROSS
and surrender fully to the ONE
who looks into our eyes
and says
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU.
And then HE would reach out HIS hand and
wait for you to take HIS,
but then the voice of IMPERFECTION begins to speak~
Who are you to take the hand of JESUS?
And then you hear the voice above all voices~
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are MINE" (Isaiah 43:1)
Who are you? Who am I?
HIS~
all HIS.
Oh FEAR is a facade to mask the LOVE of GOD.
"We need have no fear of someone who loves us perfectly; his perfect love for us eliminates all dread of what HE might do to us. If we are afraid, it is for fear of what HE might do to us and shows that we are not fully convinced that HE really loves us" (I John 4:18)
I am giggling now as just in this moment
I love my messy self,
because it is because I am so IMPERFECT that I need
JESUS.
Oh what a FEARFUL thought
if I didn't need HIM.
So as you go about your day
and when you fail to meet your expectations
and the expectations of others
and even the expectations of GOD
take your pulse as it is a reminder that you are human
and that IMPERFECTIONS become beauty in the eyes of one
covers us with HIS PERFECTION.
Oh how
"HE LOVES US" (listen to the song below)