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  • Writer's pictureJoni

Day 27: Hard To Believe


It is so hard to

BELIEVE GOD

when you are holding on so tight,

that if you let go of HIM you know you

would fall apart.

But then if you are HOLDING ON so tight,

then you must be BELIEVING HIM

because who HOLDS ON to who they don't BELIEVE?

I question myself all the time

when everything goes silent

and

when I am waiting for

that one little sign that

GOD actually is doing something behind

the scenes,

because the story that you are living

you could entitle

"WHERE ARE YOU GOD"!

But maybe that is the problem,

being distracted by

questioning

GOD

when actually you are looking for what your

heart craves so hard

that

you forget that

GOD is right there with you.

But is GOD enough when

you are HOLDING ON so tightly to

HIM

by

A THREAD OF HOPE,

that if you took a moment

to look the other way,

you BELIEVE that

the THREAD would break,

and then where would your HOPE be.

But if GOD is right here with you,

HOLDING ON doesn't have to

HURT so bad

unless the

FEAR of FALLING APART

and the

FEAR of TEARS

is making you miss the ONE who is actually

HOLDING ONTO YOU.

BELIEVING isn't a grin and bear it thing.

BELIEVING isn't a coping mechanism.

BELIEVING isn't a standstill sport

because

BELIEVING is taking that next step

to walk on water,

even if you can't swim,

because you see HIM

walking on water

and HE is speaking to you~

"Take courage, it is I! Do not be afraid!'”*

But then you panic in

UNBELIEF

when

you question if that is really

JESUS who is speaking to little 'ole you,

because why would HE even give you the time of day~

“LORD, if it is really YOU, command me to come to YOU on the water..”

But JESUS does not take offense as HE responds with~

“Come!”

So you COME BELIEVING~

"So Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward JESUS".

But then UNBELIEF gets the best of you~

"But when he saw [the effects of] the wind,

he was frightened, and he began to sink, and he cried out,

'LORD, save me!'" (Matthew 14:27-30).

Oh how I relate to PETER

as he rides the roller coaster of

BELIEVING UNBELIEVING FAITH,

because why would he even speak to JESUS if he didn't

BELIEVE JESUS was JESUS?

So my HOLDING TIGHT to BELIEVING GOD in the silence,

actually means I do BELIEVE GOD

because why would I

&

why would you

cry out to someone whom you didn't BELIEVE?

GOD is not sleeping on the job,

as HE is always

WORKING

FOR THE GOOD ALL THINGS FOR THOSE WHO LOVE HIM.

Therefore

I will continue to HOLD ON & CRY OUT

to the ONE who

I BELIEVE~

"GOD, TURN IT AROUND"


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