Day 25: Uncontrollable Control
I never realized what I used to do
until GOD UNLEASHED
me from what I used to do~
CONTROL!
I would try to CONTROL my life by doing everything I could do,
planning PERFECTLY ahead of time,
thinking through every possible scenerio that could possibly happen,
all in an attempt to protect myself
from the possibility of having my heart hurt by others.
But what do you do when
PERFECT is never PERFECT ENOUGH?
Oh, what a never-ending task~
trying to CONTROL something that was never mine to CONTROL in the first place.
Because no matter how carefully I planned,
I could never CONTROL whether someone would
hurt me,
frustrate me,
disappoint me,
reject me,
or misunderstand me.
Because the arrows would still fly,
piercing my heart with hurt,
frustration,
and disappointment,
no matter how PERFECT I tried to DO or BE.
Because I finally began to realize:
I CAN'T CONTROL ANOTHER PERSON,
PLACE, OR THING.
Hmm!
But I can choose WHO I TRUST.
I can choose WHO I BELIEVE.
I can choose WHO I FOLLOW.
And I can choose what I DO with all the thingsI desperately want to CONTROL.
I can RELEASE THEM.
Not into nothing.
But into the hands of THE PERFECT ONE.
And I mean ALL.
ALL anxieties.
ALL worries.
ALL hurts.
ALL frustrations.
ALL disappointments.
ALL sorrows.
ALL plans.
ALL expectations.
And ultimately,
ALL OF YOURSELF.
And then something begins to happen so supernaturally.
GOD RELEASES
you into a freedom you never knew existed.
And suddenly,
you begin to FLY even though you never knew you had wings.
Not because you finally learned how to CONTROL everything,
but because you finally learned
WHO TO TRUST WITH EVERYTHING~
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge HIM, and HE shall direct your paths" (Proverbs 3:5–6).
I sit here with happy tears flowing
because of the
FAITHFULNESS OF GOD,
as I look back at all the striving I did
to CONTROL what I could never CONTROL.
But PEACE isn't found in the STRIVING,
but in the STILLNESS.
"Be still, and know that I am GOD" (Psalm 46:10).
To BE STILL AND KNOW THAT GOD IS GOD
is the sweet spot of SURRENDER.
Because that's where I finally allow
GOD to be GOD and me to be me.
HIS CHILD.
Not the one who has to hold EVERYTHING together,
but the CHILD who is being held by the ONE WHO DOES.
A CHILD who depends upon her ABBA FATHER
as though her life depends upon HIM~
because IT DOES.
Because GOD doesn't control us like robots.
HE leads.
HE loves.
HE corrects.
HE guides.
HE gives GRACE.
Just look at the CROSS.
JESUS is not there.
HE ROSE.
What looked like the end wasn't the end.
What looked completely out of CONTROL
was never beyond the sovereign purposes of GOD.
Because GOD IS GOD!
So what will you choose TO CONTROL?
WHO will you TRUST?
WHO will you BELIEVE?
WHO will you FOLLOW?
And my answer is
"JUST JESUS"
(listen to the song below)
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