. It is one of those mornings
when GOD is being so STILL
that it makes me uncomfortable,
as it forces me to be so STILL in the SILENCE,
without having a mountaintop experience
that would send shivers down my spine.
For I LOVE when I FEEL the PRESENCE OF GOD.
But in this very SECOND and the last SECOND that just ticked by,
I am FEELING nothing,
yet trying hard to create something
so that I EXPERIENCE GOD.
In this moment there is a FEAR that maybe GOD will walk away.
Silly to say, but I have had many
who I have LOVED
who have walked away
who I never could imagine
ever walking away,
so why wouldn't the
GOD I LOVE walk away too.
Wow. Just writing that sends
shivers down my spine
as I don't know what I would do
or who I would be
WITHOUT GOD.
I would be WITHOUT.
Well GOD is breaking through the SILENCE,
pulling at my HEART strings
because GOD is tapping into my biggest FEAR
and that is not having HIM in my LIFE.
Maybe this morning is a SILENT morning
that is tapping into my
BIGGEST FEAR
that maybe
GOD would FORSAKE me.
That maybe GOD would be so
DISAPPOINTED in me because I can never measure up,
that HE would toss me aside.
I feel I am getting a taste of what hell would be like.
A LIFE WITHOUT GOD.
As I think about how JESUS must have felt when
HE cried out on the cross
"MY GOD MY GOD why have you FORSAKEN me?"
(Matthew 27:46)
JESUS experienced it so that we never have to.
GOD is bring me back to the
HEART of my FAITH
that is my CHOICE
and your CHOICE.
To CHOOSE JESUS.
Oh a LIFE WITHOUT JESUS
is a LIFE WITHOUT.
What a weird morning this is
as I feel like I was brought to a place
and space to experience the
dead space where there is no GOD.
BUT GOD SHOWED UP
because HE NEVER LEFT,
I am HIS.
"The sheep that are MY own hear MY voice and listen to ME; I know them, and they follow ME. And I give them eternal life, and they will never, ever [by any means] perish; and no one will ever snatch them out of MY hand.
MY FATHER, who has given them to ME,
is greater and mightier than all;
and no one is able to snatch them out of the FATHER'S hand"
(John 10:27-29 AMP).
Lesson learned.
You can't put the face and heart of any human on the
FACE OF GOD~
"GOD is not human, that HE should lie,
not a human being, that HE should change HIS mind.
Does HE speak and then not act?
Does HE promise and not fulfill?" (Numbers 23:19)
And that is what I did.
To even think that GOD is like humans.
Oh how the SILENCE got the best of me
that had me coward into FEAR that
GOD would leave me,
when actually
the SILENCE was just a door for
GOD to walk through
so that HE could take me deeper into
my FAITH so
that HE could meet me right where I was
to show me how
BIG HE IS in my LIFE
because I am nothing WITHOUT HIM.
Silly silly me
when I get way too human
and allow FEAR to get the best of me
even though I KNOW the TRUTH,
but sometimes you have to be reminded
how PRECIOUS FAITH is,
as it is
a GIFT
to never be taken lightly
but to be held tightly,
for GOD
"YOU NEVER LET GO"
(listen to the song below)
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