I learned something about myself
that GOD wanted me to learn about myself
in the most wacky way.
As I was to share my testimony this past weekend
the preparation was daunting,
which is strange
because I know my story,
But because GOD has done so much in me
and continues to do so much in me
how do I share my UNEDITED life
so that I can PROVE that GOD is real.
And what I realized was that
I was trying to PROVE my story,
yet I didn't feel my TESTIMONY was proof enough.
How crazy does this sound, even to myself as I am writing this now.
Would they see my GOD who LOVED me when no one else did?
Would they see my JESUS who lifted me out of the pit of self condemnation?
Would they know that I was bleeding inside from a very young age
crying out for someone to see me, to hear me, to love me?
Well GOD woke me up on the morning that I was to share
and HE
had a different story for me to share.
Once again GOD created another testimony
so that HE could testify to who HE is
and HE just wanted me to SHOW UP.
So at 4am, HIS WORDS flowed through my fingers,
and what was being written
was a new story
which was more of a love letter
to me from GOD
because HE wanted HIS little girl
to know that HE LOVES her so much
that it was HIS STORY to tell.
Oh the tears flowed as I was experiencing GOD
in that moment that was so surreal.
Oh what a gift as PEACE filled my soul
as my fingers couldn't keep up to the pace of HIS WORDS that were speaking to my heart.
HE rewrote my story once again
that morning at the retreat center
as my original notes were tossed to the side.
Oh HE always has so much more that we could ever imagine
when we just SHOW UP
and are open to HIM
because you will leave
never the same.
I think I learned more about myself
as I scanned my past to share,
because I experienced HIS LOVING HAND
rewriting a messy story
that I was striving to write myself.
So in the midst of GOD changing what I had planned to share
HE had a plan that HE wanted to share
and all I had to do was to SHOW UP.
As I have strived to PROVE that my TESTIMONY is true
so that whoever hears it will know that JESUS is real,
I was going about it the wrong way.
I can’t prove my testimony.
I can't prove GOD.
I can’t prove JESUS.
I am LIVING PROOF.
I wouldn't be writing in this very moment
if
GOD wasn't real.
Oh HE is beyond real.
REAL for you.
REAL for me.
And REAL for everybody else.
I am HIS DAUGHTER.
Case Closed.
RESTORED. RENEWED. REDEEMED.
So simply true
that all I want is everyone to
just SHOW UP
to
"LOVING MY JESUS" (listen to the song below)