Day 15: Can't Sleep?
It was one of those SLEEPLESS nights,
that kept me up all night,
because I was trying to figure out
why I couldn't SLEEP.
Was it something I ate?
Is it something I'm thinking about?
Or...
am I spending so much time trying to figure out
WHY I couldn't SLEEP
that
I couldn't SLEEP?
Hmm.
So my brain was WIDE AWAKE,
because of the WHYS!
Oh the WHYS of life.
WHY did this happen?
WHY am "I" feeling this way?
WHY can't "I" fix this?
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
It's like my mind has a piece of chalk and just keeps writing
WHY
all over the board.
But what if "I" just STOPPED?
What if I left the
“I”
out of the equation and instead,
I asked GOD?
I know.
That sounds so
CHRISTIAN~ESE.
Almost too easy.
And maybe that's why I hesitate.
Surely I don't need to bother
GOD
with something as insignificant as,
WHY CAN'T I SLEEP?
There are wars.
There is suffering.
There is sickness.
There are people facing life-altering circumstances.
And here I am asking
the GOD of the universe
why
JONI CAN'T SLEEP.
Really?
But what happened caused
the tears to start flowing.
WHY?
Hmm.
There's that word again.
WHY?
GOD was revealing somethingI hadn't realized was there.
I was BELIEVING
that
GOD GETS TIRED OF HEARING FROM ME.
Oh.
Maybe that's whyI've been holding back.
Maybe somewhere inside of meI've been thinking that
I've talked to HIM enough.
Don't bother HIM with this.
Give GOD a break.
This isn't important enough.
And suddenly the question wasn't
WHY CAN'T I SLEEP?
The deeper question became,
WHY AM I HESITATING TO GO TO GOD?
Why would GOD want to take
the time to hear my silly little question
when there are so many
BIGGER
problems in the world?
But...
what if I've been measuring
GOD'S interest in me
by the size of
MY PROBLEM?
Oh,
CHALK TALK 101.
Take the chalk.
Write:
THIS IS TOO SMALL TO BOTHER GOD WITH.
Now,
ERASE IT.
Because maybe the issue isn't whether my question is
BIG
or
SMALL.
Maybe the invitation is simply~
COME.
As JESUS stands with HIS arms open wide
INVITING all to
Talk to HIM.
Pour your heart out before HIM.
Trust HIM.
Acknowledge HIM.
Invite HIM into this too.
Because GOD doesn't only want
the pieces of you life that qualify as
EMERGENCIES.
HE wants me.
HE wants you.
And if HE wants us,
then
HE wants us to bring what is actually happening inside of us.
The
BIG THINGS.
The
LITTLE THINGS.
The things that make you cry.
The things that make you laugh.
The things that keep you awake.
The questions you cannot answer.
And even the questions you think are too silly to ask.
Because what kind of relationship would it be
if we only talked to GOD when something was
BIG ENOUGH?
Oh...
HE isn't merely the GOD you call in a CRISIS.
HE is the GOD you walk with through LIFE.
And that's what GOD showed me
in the middle of that sleepless night.
Not necessarily
WHY I couldn't sleep,
but something much deeper:
WHY WAS I HOLDING BACK FROM HIM?
And that, my friend, is where
REAL CHANGE
begins.
When we become completely
HONEST
and
VULNERABLE
before our
CREATOR.
Not because HE doesn't already know.
But because you are
OPENING your HEART TO HIM~
"Trust [confidently] in HIM at all times,
O people; Pour out your heart before HIM.
GOD is a refuge for us."
(Psalm 62:8 AMP)
POUR OUT YOUR HEART.
Not just the important parts.
Not just the spiritual parts.
Not just the parts that seem worthy of
GOD'S ATTENTION.
Your
WHOLE HEART.
So,
what's on your mind
RIGHT NOW?
What have you decided is way too
LITTLE for such a BIG GOD?
Write it on the chalkboard.
Now look at it.
Maybe you've been thinking,
GOD DOESN'T WANT TO HEAR THIS.
ERASE.
THIS ISN'T IMPORTANT ENOUGH.
ERASE.
I'VE ALREADY ASKED HIM TOO MANY TIMES.
ERASE.
GOD MUST BE TIRED OF HEARING FROM ME.
Oh,
ERASE.
And replace all of it with
TRUTH:
“POUR OUT YOUR HEART BEFORE HIM”
(Psalm 62:8).
And what if you don't have anything on your mind right now?
Then,
just
TALK TO HIM.
Not because you need something.
Not because something is wrong.
Not because you have a prayer request.
But simply because
HE IS GOD
and
YOU ARE HIS.
So,
when I was seeking the answer to
WHY I CAN'T SLEEP,
I suddenly didn't need to know the answer.
Because the sleepless momentbecame something
BEAUTIFUL.
I stopped trying to figure out
WHY
and started talking to
WHO IS THE ANSWER!
Oh,
maybe that's today's
CHALK TALK 101:
STOP TRYING TO WRITE ALL THE ANSWERS.
HAND GOD THE CHALK.
And
POUR OUT YOUR HEART.
Because HE is not too BIG
to care about something SMALL.
HE is
"THE GOD WHO LISTENS"*.
No matter the time of day or night!
*(Listen to the song below)
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