Day 14: Hard To Believe
It is so hard to
when you are holding on so tight
that if you let go of HIM you know you
would fall apart.
But then if you are HOLDING ON so tight
then you must be BELIEVING HIM
because who HOLDS ON to who they don't BELIEVE?
I question myself all the time
when everything goes silent
when I am waiting for
that one little sign that
GOD actually is doing something behind
because the story that you are living
you could entitle
"WHERE ARE YOU GOD"!
But maybe that is the problem,
being distracted by
when actually you are looking for what your
heart craves so hard
you forget that
GOD is right there with you.
But is GOD enough when
you are holding on so tightly to
A THREAD OF HOPE
that if you took a moment
to look the other way
you BELIEVE that
the THREAD would break,
and then where would your HOPE be.
But if GOD is right here with you
HOLDING ON doesn't have to
HURT so bad
Fear of FALLING APART
Fear of TEARS
is making you miss the ONE who is actually
HOLDING ONTO YOU.
BELIEVING isn't a grin and bear it.
BELIEVING isn't a coping mechanism.
BELIEVING isn't a standstill sport
BELIEVING is taking that next step
to walk on water
even if you can't swim
because you see HIM
walking on water
and HE is speaking to you~
"Take courage, it is I! Do not be afraid!'”*
But then you panic in
you question if that is really
JESUS who is speaking to little 'ole you,
because why would HE even give you the time of day~
“LORD, if it is really YOU, command me to come to YOU on the water”
And JESUS does not take offense as HE responds with~
So you COME BELIEVING~
"So Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward JESUS" But then UNBELIEF gets the best of you~
"But when he saw [the effects of] the wind,
he was frightened, and he began to sink, and he cried out,
'Lord, save me!'" (Matthew 14:27-30)
Oh how I relate to PETER
as he rides the roller coaster of BELIEVING UNBELIEVING FAITH
because why would he even speak to JESUS if he didn't BELIEVE HE was JESUS?
So my HOLDING TIGHT to BELIEVING GOD in the silence
actually means I do BELIEVE GOD
because why would I
why would you
cry out to someone whom you didn't BELIEVE?
GOD is not sleeping on the job
as HE is always
WORKING FOR THE GOOD ALL THINGS FOR THOSE WHO LOVE HIM.
I will continue to HOLD ON & CRY OUT
to the ONE who
"GOD, TURN IT AROUND"
(listen to the song below)