GOD really is who HE says HE is,
because if HE wasn't who HE says HE is
I wouldn't be
who HE has changed me to be~
A NEWER version of who I thought I was~
because who I thought I was
was not who GOD had created me to be.
The OLDER version was a little girl
filled with FEAR.
AFRAID of her shadow.
AFRAID to make a mistake.
AFRAID to be herself,
because herself was never good enough.
So what is a little girl to do?
STRIVE to be someone else.
STRIVE to be just the opposite of
everything who she was created to be.
So she STUFFS her emotions.
She STUFFS her feelings.
Because if she FELT herself
and herself was never good enough
why would she want to FEEL her.
And then it happens.
Rather GOD happens.
HE watches you grow up
HE watches you STRIVING to change.
HE STRIVES to enter into your life,
as you STRIVE to find HIM through religion,
but religion then starts to tell you to
STRIVE harder because you can never be
GOOD ENOUGH for GOD.
So if religion doesn't work
and GOD is in religion,
then what is a little girl to do.
She falls so low
that the only up is on her knees.
That place of GRACE
where she meets the
REAL GOD
who has been waiting for her
her whole life
so that HE can breathe
REAL LIFE back into her tattered soul.
Where would I be without GOD?
I would be without HIS SON,
who took every NOT GOOD ENOUGH part of me
in a moment
when I invited
HIM
into my heart
so that HE
gave me my REAL LIFE back
that is sealed IN HIM.
Oh because my SAVIOR LIVES
I LIVE!
So where is this all coming from this morning.
Maybe it is in GRATITUDE
for my GOD LOVING me back together.
As I sit here with tears in my eyes,
I look back at that little girl
who lived her life
in FEAR
STRIVING to find LOVE
by recreating herself,
but she remained hidden
because
no matter how hard she STRIVED to be seen and heard
it was never GOOD ENOUGH.
I love that little girl
because she is me
who has been RELEASED into
a grown up body
because of
A FORGIVENESS that covers all hurts and wounds
and
A FAVOR that covers me with HIS SON
so that I am
UNLEASHED to
LIVE in
A FREEDOM to stop living in FEAR
to be my messy self
who is LOVED with a LOVE
that is covered in GRACE
that continually draws me closer and closer to
THE GOD who is who HE says HE is.
Because if HE wasn't who HE says HE is
I wouldn't be
sitting here
with HIM
who always welcomes me into
HIS PRESENCE
because that is what LOVE does.
How do you not LOVE the ONE who is LOVE.
So I sit here with a heart filled with quiet tears of JOY
because I can't stop
"LOVING MY JESUS" (listen to the song below)