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  • Writer's pictureJoni

Day 19: Live Loved


GOD really is who HE says HE is,

because if HE wasn't who HE says HE is

I wouldn't be

who HE has changed me to be~

A NEWER version of who I thought I was~

because who I thought I was

was not who GOD had created me to be.

The OLDER version was a little girl

filled with FEAR.

AFRAID of her shadow.

AFRAID to make a mistake.

AFRAID to be herself,

because herself was never good enough.

So what is a little girl to do?

STRIVE to be someone else.

STRIVE to be just the opposite of

everything who she was created to be.

So she STUFFS her emotions.

She STUFFS her feelings.

Because if she FELT herself

and herself was never good enough

why would she want to FEEL her.

And then it happens.

Rather GOD happens.

HE watches you grow up

HE watches you STRIVING to change.

HE STRIVES to enter into your life,

as you STRIVE to find HIM through religion,

but religion then starts to tell you to

STRIVE harder because you can never be

GOOD ENOUGH for GOD.

So if religion doesn't work

and GOD is in religion,

then what is a little girl to do.

She falls so low

that the only up is on her knees.

That place of GRACE

where she meets the

REAL GOD

who has been waiting for her

her whole life

so that HE can breathe

REAL LIFE back into her tattered soul.

Where would I be without GOD?

I would be without HIS SON,

who took every NOT GOOD ENOUGH part of me

in a moment

when I invited

HIM

into my heart

so that HE

gave me my REAL LIFE back

that is sealed IN HIM.

Oh because my SAVIOR LIVES

I LIVE!

So where is this all coming from this morning.

Maybe it is in GRATITUDE

for my GOD LOVING me back together.

As I sit here with tears in my eyes,

I look back at that little girl

who lived her life

in FEAR

STRIVING to find LOVE

by recreating herself,

but she remained hidden

because

no matter how hard she STRIVED to be seen and heard

it was never GOOD ENOUGH.

I love that little girl

because she is me

who has been RELEASED into

a grown up body

because of

A FORGIVENESS that covers all hurts and wounds

and

A FAVOR that covers me with HIS SON

so that I am

UNLEASHED to

LIVE in

A FREEDOM to stop living in FEAR

to be my messy self

who is LOVED with a LOVE

that is covered in GRACE

that continually draws me closer and closer to

THE GOD who is who HE says HE is.

Because if HE wasn't who HE says HE is

I wouldn't be

sitting here

with HIM

who always welcomes me into

HIS PRESENCE

because that is what LOVE does.

How do you not LOVE the ONE who is LOVE.

So I sit here with a heart filled with quiet tears of JOY

because I can't stop

"LOVING MY JESUS" (listen to the song below)





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